And The Winner Is...

Nothing like winning the award for ugliest Christmas sweater. And then getting wasted. And then getting in a cab with three friends headed for points more drunken. And then getting in another cab with someone who was a counselor where you went to camp. He was the archery teacher. But you felt like a winner in your sweater because people were lauding you for something other than beauty. The former camp counselor complimented you on the sweater but it didn't occur to you until later that he was serious. Before you realized that he was a bigger dork now than when he was telling you how to factor cross-winds into your shot, you let him reach in the sweater. That's when the shiny green button came loose. It landed in your lap and tumbled to the curb when you and the archery guy got out at Broadway and 13th Street. You don't remember what happened after that but the sweater is at the Salvation Army now with two red, two white, and only one shiny green button.