Escalade Escapade

The point of pride in this button is that it's the same color as Timberlands. Too bad it was sewn cheaply onto a denim jacket sporting about 20 other similar buttons. Under those conditions, who would notice that one was loose or missing? Evidence suggests that this Bad Boy never even made it to the sale rack.

Found in the garment district.

He'll Gladly Pay You Tuesday

Oh, he held on as long as he could. For decades, it was, on an oversized peacoat worn by a big simple guy. Until some poor friend of the simple guy got lucky at the track and came home with thousands from a long-shot trifecta. The poor friend, not used to having money, spent it like like wildfire. Fifty dollar bills to the homeless, giant tips on coffee orders, and a three thousand dollar sweater the color of fog. He let anyone borrow and that's how the button got sprung against its will. The poor friend let his simple hamburger-loving friend borrow big - big enough for too many hamburgers in one sitting. Too many. So many that a big button popped off of his big coat.

Bust Button

This little darling has seen some traffic. It used to live a life of daily struggle on a blouse about bust level; it was always endanger of losing its grasp on the buttonhole it was supposed to hold. There was great strain on that particular part of the blouse. The button reached its limit one day when the owner was running for a bus. The button finally lost its grip for good and fell into the street where it was run over repeatedly by grinding buses. Claw marks are evident.

Diminutive Pearl

For comparison to the previous post, I offer this little mother of pearl button, which was found on the Bowery. It had been there a while - about a hundred years I'd say - judging by the fact that it was sitting in a pile of dirt and gunk dug up for some median construction. Every time they dig in this city, as in any city, they're digging through history. And this button popped up.

I'm pretty certain it was part of a petticoat worn by an hourly harlot sometime shortly after the end of the Civil War, when that neighborhood was loaded with brothels. You can tell by looking at it that the button had other ideas for itself; figured it was destined for an outer garment, not underwear. So it hooked onto the side of the laundry pail and popped off. Too bad it then bounced off of the floor, into the air, and then right down between the floor boards. Only to resurface 100 years later in a pile of yellowish brown clay-like mud.

And, no, we still don't have time machines or jet-packs.

El Gigante

I don't know if I should serve a meal on it or sew it to a peacoat big enough for a walrus. Bigger than a poker chip and about as thick as an Oreo, I found this monster in a crosswalk in midtown. Maybe it got tired of the big-button short jacket look and bounced.

Sarah Palin's Button

It matches her glasses that are now all the rage. Speaking of rage, I would like to point out Palin's support of rage. For instance, when an enraged man rapes a woman, Palin supports forced birth of the product of such rage. This, I suspect, would enrage the husbands of the raped wives, the fathers of the raped daughters, and the raped women too.

I wouldn't recommend ordering a pair of Palin's glasses because it's pretty obvious that she can't see too well with them. They, and the button depicted here, are examples of the running-for-emperor's new clothes.

Triple Five Soul (Minus One)

Street cred is a fickle mistress. People spend a ton of money to look authentically hard, while enjoying all the bennies of a soft lifestyle. No one knows this better than a Triple Five Soul button. Especially one that came off of an IQ funnel neck jacket with three-quarter length sleeves when a messenger bag strap got a little rough. $68 for the T-shirt and another $116 for the jacket and the owner may have covered up the last traces of Bloomfield Hills just in time for her first class at NYU - it all depends on where she bought the jeans.

Stay in school.

Found in front of the Puma store in Union Square.

Emo or Goth?

The button is all emo. But the ratty Eisenhower jacket it jumped off of was worn by a kid who couldn't focus. He couldn't decide if he was goth or emo. He got interested in the emo scene after a cute emo girl in his class made eye contact. That's all it took. Next thing he knew he had spiked hair, striped t-shirts, skinny jeans, and canvas sneakers. And a little of mom's eyeliner. And the odd make-out session with Joshua from algebra class. But he prefers goth music! He'd take Dead Can Dance over Fall Out Boy any day. It's his dirty little secret. He's worried that someone looked over his shoulder on the bus and saw that he was listening to "Dear Prudence" by Siouxsie and the Banshees. Now the emos might disown him. Whatever, he starts a new school next year any way.

Found by the George Washington sculpture in the plaza at Union Square.

Beg Your Pardon

I can just about smell the pipe tobacco. And see the ascot that is soaked with the scent. Too bad the ascot is polyester. Dead giveaway. Skilled con men know that a detail such as silk or poly is crucial to gaining confidence. Same goes with the button. This is a cheap fake that once called home a hokey synthetic blue blazer lousy with loud buttons of a vaguely Lords 'n' Ladies theme. The owner of the blazer is at this moment probably trying to talk his way out of the vig. He won't be able to.

Found on the Brooklyn Bridge.

Mao Tze Oops

Fed up with towing the party line, this button bailed off of the front of an old Mao coat and who can blame it. Imported from the Shaanxi Province, the Mao jacket that this button hails from has been hard at work for over 40 years. Its buttons have been re-attached many times but this four-holer just couldn't face another day under the banner of the little red star. It also grew tired of the smoke from all those Gauloise and hated the never-ending onslaught of vegetarian restaurants. Now it lives in a French tin and gets to mingle at will.

Found in front of the newsstand in Astor Place.

5th Avenue Bride

You can tell that this button popped off of a wedding gown. What the bridal party was doing on 5th Avenue in front of the Empire State Building is anybody's guess.

Best wishes to the bride and groom!

Central Park

Back

Front

Clearly a case of cuff-abandonment, this leather-clad button must've bailed off of the arm of a corduroy blazer leaving the other two on that cuff to fend for themselves. The absent-minded professor who owns the jacket probably doesn't even know yet that he's been dumped.

Found in Central Park.

All that Scratching is Making Me Itch

This big guy was pretty scuffed up when I plucked him from between the curb and the street at the crosswalk. He obviously came off of one of those three button thin cotton jackets with a high peplum that are so popular this season. When I found him he had some thread still dangling, which makes me think that he probably showed signs of distress before making the big jump. He could have been saved. Sad.

Brown/grey, large, four-hole.

Found at 5th Avenue & 15th Street.

Small, ivory, four holes

This little wonder is obviously an escapee from a FOREVER 21 frock; cheap plastic, polyester thread, and poor workmanship. Those buttons are lucky to last one cycle in the wash. Found at the corner of Bleecker and Lafayette.